alone inside

I come here sometimes.  It makes me feel even more alone than I already feel inside.  I get comfort in feeling alone sometimes.  I let darkness come over me and it feels good.  Wrapped up in a blanket of sorrow I walk.  I walk and walk until I tell myself to snap out of it.  Stop letting this sadness consume you, I say.  But sometimes I can’t help it.  I need to feel alone, sad, sorry for myself.  I decide to let myself feel it, to feel all the sadness I want to, to be as alone as I want to feel.  I allow it to consume me.  I invite the feelings in.  It rests inside me, digging a deeper and deeper hole.  Finding it’s spot to rest and grow, if I allow it.  Today I’m allowing it to stay but only for a little while longer…

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